Funky Valentines
by Anonymous Eyes of Dormant Sins
Summary: Out of nowhere, Crazy Hand comes up with a show and thinking getting it ready will be easy breezy, he goes through hell getting it ready and ten times more hosting it. Master Hand has his back all the time and too joins in the hell ride. Rated MA!
1. One Hell Of A Preparation

**Chapter 1  
**

It's pitch black and the only thing you can see is these little aspects of white gloves. One was floating back and forth in a somewhat fast pace, moving it's fingers like a mad scientist engulfed in guilt—these big white letters abruptly pops up and spells out "Crazy Hand". Then after fifteen seconds of insanity pacing, it stops and turns towards it's alter ego, which was laying on it's palm sleeping—again, these big white letters abruptly pops out and this time spells out "Master Hand."

"Hey Master Hand!" Shouts Crazy Hand abruptly. "I gotta plan cuz."

"That's fine and dandy, but I need some sleep," rebels Master Hand wearily.

"No bra. We gonna plan this shit out right now. You know I got—" "Short term memory," yawns Master Hand. Then with asperity: "GOD Crazy Hand! What is your amusement now?! Do you even care about the clock?!"

"It's 11:05 man."

"I don't care! Sleep is Sleep; and I'M going to get some!"

"Well grumpy flintstone, you go on ahead and sleep on these nuts!" Inveighs Crazy Hand. "Tell Wilma Flintstone I said hi and have her to say hi back seductively okay faggot!"

Master Hand lifted himself up and if he had a face, he would have gave a hallow stare at Crazy Hand.

"Damn it Crazy, what is it?" Asks Master Hand incredulously.

"I'm a glad you're wide awake cuz."

"Please stop acting black—'bra.'"

"Well I can't do that cuz. You see their language is awesome, funky, and engulfed in soul. Than to put the final ingredient on the topping, I hanged out with Mr. Chief&Watch—"When Master Hand heard that name, his thick proximal phalanges curves in, almost having the tip of his fingers touching his palm; he's forming an incomplete fist in common terms. He was appalled from that name—"for way too long." He then adds this a second later, "bra."

Master Hand yells in infuriation, "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF RUBBISH ABOUT THE GOT-DAMN AUTHOR!"

"Chill nigga!" Propitiates Crazy Hand. He didn't realize "nigga" slipped out.

"Nigga," says Master Hand pitifully and ludicrously. "So we're black now huh? Let's go to Africa and do the 'sabar' dance with our African-American bretherns while were 'NIGGAS' at the moment!"

"It unexpectedly slipped out!" Says Crazy Hand in trembling fear.

"So if you get uppercutted, I guess that was by accident too huh?" Remark Master Hand mordantly.

"No that's re—"Crazy Hand begins to discover that Master Hand is a white glove instead of a black one.

"Hold up," he continues. Then in a more triumphant voice: "Why are you even piss? Your 'master of drama' looking-ass is white as snow. Damn you fake bra!"

"That's one of the ultimate curse words that is known to take lives—" Master Hand pauses, than continues on in disappointment-"If Tabuu went to the 'hood' and said nigga, he would instantly and brutally perish. I would complement his water-blue transparent ass, he is purely capable of conquering all universes, but saying the—" Crazy Hand joins in—"Wrong shit can be your gravely downfall!"

"Yeah boy!" Crazy Hands resumes exultantly: "That's my master! Fool of legit wisdom with gangsta' swag!"

"That's right. Now what's this plan you thought of?"

"Wra?" Crazy Hand was bewildered until he thought about couples that existed in Mario's Universe. "Oh Ye—aah—h!" he holds in a "I solved it" tone.  
"Bra, it goes like this—–" He begins to explain and go in definite details about his eldritch plan.

Meanwhile in Subspace,(before you go on, this area of subspace don't exists in brawl at all! Those purple and pink idiotic looking floors are more scattered; you can still travel straight and don't have to worry about falling eternally. In the center of the floor lies the purple subspace symbol. A foot away from that symbol are 3 golden circles stacked on top of one another, each having decent space so your whole foot can be on it with remains—they absurdly resemble those concrete circle stairs where they play as stairs outside of certain houses and famous colosseums in Rome and Greece. Then on the top of these stairs beholds a royal golden rectangular chair with a dark red soft seat and a soft upholstered back of the same color. The top rail of it has gold sharp spikes on both ends, as well as the ends of both arms. The sky is purple with little spectacles of red and yellow stars. With it contains a gold with purple lining smash symbol with amazing lavender-tranquil cosmic star flowers neighboring around it. Underneath the scattering floor and the subspace symbol, resides a green-yellow milky way that is sixty-four hundred miles long. The doors are shining metal with yellow, red and blue, flowing in a diagonal path; they are on both ends of the area. Planets come and go like folks at a drive through. They freeze in the middle of the area behind the smash symbol like they are ordering something to eat, then resume on their cruise control orbit after they decide to leave—received their food. Their stay varies though; Sometimes, they just go through without stopping.)there was a wild party loaded with ten Primids; four were red, four were green and the remaining two were metal. These cumbersome guys was doing all kinds of things; some was dancing sexually, some was sword fighting, some was playing "Paint Ball War," and some was guarding the new emperor—or should I say empress.(Tabuu never came back from that defeat. He's in hell doing whatever you're imagining.) The new ruler of subspace is no other than—those big white letters appeared once more and spelled out "Rosalina."

After a fierce Armageddon brawl with Tabuu and almost the entire brawl roaster, Tabuu, Subspace, and R.O.B.'s home all melted away, resulting a big mega x in the sky.(SSB fans or owners of "Super Smash Bros. Brawl" should know that.) An apricot Luma watched all of this went down and therefore told Rosalina that Tabuu is dead. Learning this, Rosalina ordered an exigency revival of Subspace. It consequently took all of the Lumas, even the apricot one, to revive this purple-doomed planet! Her personality took in a drastic change from this; instead of being phlegmatic, she absorbed choleric and melancholic, and still is now. On the good side, all the enemies was revived.(They are replacements for those lost Lumas. It had a very minor effect on her mood.) When she went in this giga purple ball of Hell, all of the revived shadow bugs took back their forms(Primids, Armights, Feyeshes, etc.) and bowed to their ruler; proclaiming her as the new queen of Subspace. After roaming freely for a while, she discovered this forgotten room and used her magic wand to make her golden throne there.

Rosalina was sitting on her throne miserably with her eyes close. Without turning around, one of the Metal Primids ask this, "Master, are you OK?" She opens her eyes like someone was disturbing her sleep. She then remarks reluctantly: "What do you you think?"

"I sense depression master."

"No shit metal dick!"

"We are all sorry for your loses, but the old master appreciates your reborn of our home."

"And I appreciate your dearth of sexuality," she remark mordant and incredulously.

"What's your pr—" Before Metal Primid can finish, Master Hand and Crazy Hand flew in the area behind Good Egg Galaxy—which stopped behind the smash symbol two seconds later—and if they had faces, it would have contained awed expressions on both of them.

"We will chat about this trivial shit later," says Rosalina. She than glares at the hands, whom was having a silent conversation.

"Damn cuz!" Whispers Crazy Hand. "This place is a straight g bra."

"We just 'discovered', an impeccable place for our show!" Whispers Master Hand exultantly. They didn't bother to notice that the fractious ruler was goggling at them.

"True that," says Crazy Hand. He said it loud enough for Rosalina to hear. Then continuing abruptly: "Bra, this is a legit place for sex!"

Before Master Hand can respond to that captious amorous statement, Rosalina beats him to it.

"Hell no!" Yells Rosalina furiously. "Parties over guys, leave my sight NOW!" All the primids flees the place like a group of roaches. She tells one of the running Primids to halt and come to her.

"I thought you concealed this place," she whispers forcefully.

"We—" she disrespectfully cuts him off by raising her hand to his mouth.

"Just leave my sight you brainless dog," She insults while waving her hand away. He then runs off with his heart engulfed in fear.

While she was dealing with this specific Primid, Master Hand and Crazy Hand had yet another side conversation; this time, they was staring at her.

"Bra did you see that?" Asks Crazy Hand. "This infuriated chick scared off these purple roaches. Bra, this bitch is sexy!"

"How many times did I tell you about diction?!" Scolds Master Hand. "'Bitch' is extremely a nasty word. Women deserves respect like us guys—bra."

After Rosalina said "dog" and the Primid ran off in oppression, she stares infuriatingly at the hands.

"Oh shit!" Cavils Crazy Hand. "Bra, this girl is a beast killer. She's beasting this mother-fucker!"

"You are a perfect germane gentleman," remarked Rosalina sarcastic and virulently.

"Forgive this poor soul. This guy is on crystal meth," mollifies Master Hand.

"Do it look like I'm in a sexual mood?!" Inveighs Rosalina.

"Woman, you were ogling at us just now. So that's a yes," interpolates Crazy Hand. Rosalina gave him a very disgusting but angry glare from that outrageous statement. "I know I don't gotta dick, but my fingers are equal to five mega cocks with a fat short juice one. I call it the 'Sweet Funk Juice Thumb' baby."

She got even more disgusted from this nasty-ass hand. Master Hand then says this in a merciful tone: "Forgive this man! Please forgive this man!"

Rosalina ignores him and speaks to Crazy Hand with a comeback remark, "Well Mr. Pimp Lucious—"

"This girl knows about that 'closet' shit bra!" interrupts Crazy Hand.

"If you don't want an early proper burial, your sperm infected, lustful, organism, retarded hand held psp system,–" She pauses for a brief moment grasping for air, then continues her haranguing threat—"WITH the Vita and Go, white yeast mouth that's made out of man and woman juice alike—and baby when it's combined, that's the day you rue watching porn!–Your funk-fucking mouth will stay and remain shut okay!" She pauses once more for air, and yet again, continues on, "once I'm done posting my opinions in the GOT-damn air, you can 'freely and without reserve' suck on their cocks! CAPISCE?!"

"DAAAAAAAAMMMMMN!" Yells Crazy Hand and Master Hand together with awes. Crazy Hand then continues on: "This hot-ass chick watches too much 'BET' and that 'Billy Madison' you hear me dog?"

"She ate too much of that 'General Souls Chicken,'" remark Master Hand.

"Wit extracy marijuana cuz!" Adds Crazy Hand.

"That's ecstacy my crack hand friend," corrects Master Hand.

"Y'all done?" Interpolates Rosalina impatiently.

"Well I guess so girl," says Crazy Hand sarcastically.

"Good! You guys are a bunch of troublesome dogs anyway."

"I KNOW DA—" Master Hand stops Crazy Hand in mid-talk and tells him to shut up through gestures.

"Hum, you think I'm actually playing about my threats huh? No let him finish, so I can have a reason to perish a damned soul." Crazy Hand was in deep tempt of rebelling a harmful statement, but said nothing.

"Ah, you're learning. You merit a pussy flavor doggy treat later. Now, where was I? Ah yes, Pimp Lucious. You see when y'all spoiled asses came in, I was planning on confiding something to you gentlemen, but after going through this rather distasteful wonderland with you two, I rather see y'all in Hell with Tabuu. He wants company you know—and by the way, I'm a tribade."

Crazy Hand's fingers sprawled out widely as well as Master Hand's in utter shock; they will probably grow big wide eyes if they had faces.

"That's totally rubbish!" Rebels Master Hand angrily.

"Your pussy don't have man juice in it girl!" Adds Crazy Hand.

"You'll be surprised of what this wand can do," she said while presenting the wand out at them, looking at it.

"We don't want any trouble," trembles Master Hand.

"Don't you think your rent is way past due," says Rosalina ludicrously, looking at him funny upon finishing. Then suspiciously: "y'all came here for a reason. Why did your existence reach my spectacle circulation?"

Before Master Hand can rack up an answer, Crazy Hand interpolates: "Well woman, we was planning on using this beast place for—" He explains his weird conniving plan to her like he did to Master Hand ten minutes ago at the pitch-black place. After he finished, her personality undertook a slight change; it's was good enough to replace her dark small cursed heart to her original bright loving one.

Convincing enough, she responds to him with satisfactory: "well, I never thought a dope handed man can come up with something absurd,–—" She notice her heart was growing and beating fast during so; she put her hand to her chest that contains her shining valentine of joy, and whispered "oh my God," when she felt it beating like it just won the lottery.

"Are you okay?" Asks Master Hand with concern.

"Oh shit! She's about to turn up bra!" Yells Crazy Hand quickly.

"You always have to say something trivial and cavil don't you?" Remark Rosalina while standing up and stretching her arms vertically.

"That 'Trivial Pursuit' game is awesome ain't it, and our cable is fine. Comcasto is a legit company you dig."

"Crazy Hand, just shut up!" Demands Master Hand.

"Now you're minutiae. You're a very dry-humorous character aren't you?"

"Nay girl. I'm a gangsta and you don't got nothing! You diggin' on that?" Rosalina giggles from how he stated that. Then abruptly, Master hand forms a twitching fist and furiously uppercuts Crazy Hand in his palm. Crazy Hand flew vertically away screaming "OH SHHIIIIIIT!" during the process. Rosalina didn't expect that at all and therefore grew wide eyes in appallment.

"Don't we have a mad hand," says Rosalina. "Well since he's gone, I have something to confide to you."

"Why Me?" Asks Master Hand, partially furious.

"I don't know myself, But I do know this, you're an entrust-able hand."

She confides to Master Hand her life and the Lumas. She told him everything from childhood, life as a Luma-Mother, the learning of Tabuu's death and being the replacement ruler of Subspace, and how palled up she was from the lost of the Lumas. While she was telling all of this, Master Hand went to sleep, here and there, and she had to wake him up, here and there. After nearly an hour of this elaborate confiding, she finally finishes by having Master Hand to swear that this will be spread to nobody; he agrees and went to immediate sleep.

Crazy Hand then falls from the sky and landed on the purple symbol with a loud thud. He too was in immediate sleep.

"Go to sleep my children, you have a LONG day in a couple of hours," she says sincerely, staring at the sleeping hands while leaving this rather spectacle area.

*What is this plan that Crazy Hand connived? Read the next and probably the last chapter; as it will be the one to unfold this "plan."*


	2. Knowing What You're Up Against

**Chapter 2**

"Oh baby!" This yell came out of nowhere, but it sounded like the seductive Crazy Hand. "OHHHHH SHIT! You jacking up the clock sexy!"

"A man so swagging like you deserves me!" Says Rosalina seductively. This statement too came out of nowhere, but from their seductive voices, they was having sexual intercourse.

"Work your magic girl!"

"That 'Sweet Funk Juice Thumb' taste like that of 'Kellogg's Frosted Flakes' cereal."

"They're 'GRRRRRREAT' ain't it?!" Mimics Crazy Hand seductively.

"UUUH baby!" Yells Rosalina trying to laugh, but was moaning from the pleasure. "You're turning me on."

"Nobody can figure fuck better than waa!"

"Wanna bet?" This sound wave travels past them from nowhere.

"Did you hear that?" Asks Crazy Hand in confusion.

"Bye baby. It's been fun."

"Wha—" in a flash he was permeated by a Banzai Bill.

Crazy Hand jumps automatically into the air; wide awake. He was looking around frantically and saw Rosalina glaring at him.

"What happen lass?" He asks in alert.

"You is what happened," she softly inveighs. Then like a pissed off authoritative figure: "first of all, I couldn't sleep because of your out-loud transgressional dream, then your calamity continues on with loud noises that is oh to young for a child. Your ass is indiscriminate."

"Woman why you have mean creed swag girl? All I want, is wreck-siles with you."

"That's irrelevant," she counters quickly. "And what is 'wreck-sile?'"

"Girl, go to school. We need to wreck-sile this pathetic bull shit you dig."

Her eyes begins to concentrate on him, thinking about what "wreck-sile" means. He was pacing back and forth just caviling: "Girl we had a thang goin'. Sis, you had a good time riding on my funky thumb. You was grinding on these fingers girl. Now, your bipolar-bear ass just change on me. You're tuning up for sundry reasons. Girl, I'm trying to work shit, but you're shiting on me and it stank!"

While he was spieling, Rosalina's hand with her wand was concussing and glowing bright. Rosalina holds her wand up and threatens him to either shut up or perish. All five of his thick proximal phalanges curves in and twitching slightly while during so.

"Now, time to alter your 'eloquent' speech. YOU, my challenged stranger needs to start at pre k. It took me a while, but I figured out your ghetto made creed. Do you mean reconcile? That's not gonna happen for a damn while."

"Well can I—"

"Nigga I'm not done!" She interrupts infuriatingly. Crazy Hand's fingers all came out wide and ready for combat.

"Yes the fuck you is!" He riots infuriatingly.

They got into an intense argument. After basically five minutes, their raging sound waves were starting to make sense.

"Woman! Let ME teach you somethin'! You will purish if you keep saying nigga alright!"

"Nigga please! Says who huh?! That's utterly ridiculous! Just don't be around blacks when you say it alright! It may not be our word, but we still say it, because crackers invented it! And I'm DAMN sure glad I'm Asian!; I have no part of that jacked up U.S. History. It's perish by the way."

"BITCH! THAT'S STRAIGHT UP BRITISH! DIG ON THESE NUTS HOE!"

Rosalina sighs heavily. "Oh you are way below me and it will forever stay like that," she insults confidently. "It's rubbish, not british. Dang, did you even go to elementary school?!"

Crazy Hand was twitching to the max. _"This bitch, this bitch, this bitch," _he lividly thought to himself. Master Hand was in deep sleep like a hibernated bear, but from the telepathy of Crazy Hand, he wakes up in alarm. He searches around frantically for Crazy Hand, he searched pass him three times from nervous adrenalin, but finally spotted him a foot and a half away after he yelled out "THIS BIATCH," formed a pernicious fist and went at Rosalina with full speed. Master Hand then flies with celerity and stops Crazy Hand by grabbing him completely. After a few seconds of struggling, Crazy Hand throws Master Hand off. Rosalina didn't flinch at all; she was a statue through it all.

"DAMN YOU FAGGOT! I WAS BOUT' TO SOCK THIS GOT-DAMN BUTCH MATERIAL LESBIAN LAKE!"

"Calm your ass alright," mollifies Master Hand. "Now what the fuck is going on?"–Looking at both of them.

"What can you do without your brother?" asks Rosalina. Her voice somewhat trembling.

"YEAH! WHAT CAN I DO?! RAPE YOUR ASS IS WHAT I CAN FUCKING DO!" Yells Crazy Hand, still in livid infuriation. "YOU KNOW WHAT, FORGET THIS GOT-DAMN SHOW!"

"WE'RE NOT DOING THAT!" Rebels Master hand lividly. "YOU HAD GREAT HOPE OF RUNNING THIS SHIT AND DAMN IT, WE WILL RUN IT! WE WENT THROUGH MILLIONS OF HELL AND HIGH WATER AND THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THAT! DON'T LET THIS BOOSHIE TRIBADE OR ANYTHING ELSE THWART YOUR DREAMS! NOW GET THOSE COUPLES, AND START THIS THING! YOU DIG B?!"

It was quiet for a long time, but Crazy Hand was convinced. He was gawking at the green-yellow milky way and through illusion sees this...

Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy was all relaxing and sprawled out at GCN Peach Beach; in front of the edge of the Pianta Statue Fountain. There was a giga grand prix party(a 100 lap race on one course) and they was watching and having a good time. Mario and Luigi was in the middle; Peach was on the edge with Mario; Daisy was on the other with Luigi.

* Warning, Crazy Hand wrote this part of the story and he wants you to figure out how the characters say their lines. I'll let you know when it's over and back to wraa. *

Luigi- "Tired of livin' from day to day like averythang's alright!"

(piece from 'My Moment' by DJ Drama an eyes close. He also repeats this line.)

Peach- There he go again.

Daisy- My man sounds fine and sexy! Look at him, he's asking for a blowjob!

Mario- No! Y'all fuck everyday and every other day. This is the day of normalcy. Y'all will NOT FUCK until midnight arrives you hear?

Daisy- Okay damn.

(Luigi opens his eyes and stops saying that line.)

Luigi- "You say you got that all shit hell no next time that's mine."

(From the same song and guess what, he repeats this shit too.)

Daisy- Your Judge Mathis ass needs a chill pill. No! No let me change that, you that Judge Judy Mean.

Mario- Whatever. I mean it, no fucking!

Peach- I agree with Mario, stop sharing the sperm!

Daisy- Really Peach?! You gonna team up with this midget?! That's what that "M" stands for, midget! He's smaller than the average human.

Peach- He may be, but he's my "midget!"

(Everybady's turning up bras! It was so bad that Luigi stops singing and joins in the mix. Toad was about to win, but was blown up by the blue shell and Tails drove pass all of that and won first place. Nigga must have been invited cause' he don't exists there. OK I saw enough of them, now onto Zelda's Universe. I don't know how to explain places so Mrs. Queen&Chief, do the honors cuz.)

Mr. Chief&Queen- They are at Hyrule Temple, melee version.

(Never mind then. I would've said that. Well anyway Link and his toon counter part was practicing shooting with their arrows at redeads; whom was moaning like cows on crack. Zelda and her toon counter part was sitting a good yard away from them sipping a cup of taee; you gots to sound British cause' these niggas are boushie as hell.)

Link- Damn it's a lot of em'! I'm qualified to be in season 4 of "The Walking Dead" at this rate.

(Did this Ni—I know this is not a comment story, but still, those walkers will eat your bitch ass! You don't even know how to go for the head! Stop frontin'!)

"You want me to take over?!" I asked impatiently, somewhat pissed.

(No bra! I got this! You take a break! You wrote chapter one without my guidance.)

"I don't need it."

(NIGGA! WE ALL NEED HELP!)

"Okay you done."

(NOOOO! OK CHILL DAAAMN! Toon Link's sayin' somethin'.)

Toon Link- I can't say that quiet yet.

Link- Way not?

Toon Link- Look at em'. They are fragile and requires no head shots to perish these brutes.

Link- Walkers are fragile too! If not, worse.

Toon Link- But they still move when their body parts come off.

Link- Well um...

Toon Link- These things are done with once they bleed out. They are like humans.

(I'm done looking at these gay people. Let's check out the "royal princesses" shall we.)

Toon Zelda- Look at our intertwined lovers. (Sipping her cup of taee.) They show know how to protect us don't they?

Zelda- Yeah I see that. Fate knows how to bind people together. Look at those muscles, just clustering together to produce a six-pack. (Sipping her cup of taee. Her bosoms was erecting. See that, I know British words too ha! She was checking her man out, ogling at his ass.) Uuuh baby. Let mama message that back.

(Toon Zelda was looking askance at Zelda.)

Toon Zelda- Zelda are you okay? Are you thinking about what's coming out of your mouth?

(Zelda didn't respond nor looked in her direction. Link gawks back at the princesses after he nailed a redead in the head with an arrow. He notices Zelda was ogling at him. He turns back at the redeads with sexual desires in his eyes.)

Link- Toon Link, can you handle all of these faggots for me?

(Toon Link automatically glares at him with the ceasing of shooting.)

Toon Link- You fucking SERIOUS?! DAMN IT I'm low on arrows!

(Link gives him all of his.)

Link- That should aid you for the remaining sixty-four.

(I'm getting tired of writing "Toon Link," so TL is the new "Toon Link". TL glares at the princesses and discovers why Link is planning on leaving his ass all by his lonesome.)

Toon Link- You don fucked up our partnership! If you DARE leave for that pussy, you're scarred for life! I'll never forgive your whorish drag queen ass for this!

Link- A dilemma is a dilemma. Guys get fuck over first, than ladies.

(He runs to Zelda like he's on the verge of shitting himself. TL's face turns red and his glare went in more definition.)

Toon Link- Okay. Okay. YOU ENJOY YOUR DAMN SELF! (Ganondorf telepathically orders the redeads to flee the place. The redeads, all sixty-four of them, left. He put his sword, bow and arrows up.) JUST MY GOT-DAMN LUCK! GANONDORF WAS FUCKING SPYING ON US! (While he was going off, Toon Zelda walks in trembling fear towards him.) THIS QUEER WOULD LEAVE YOUR ASS IN SPACE! HE FUCKING DISCOVERS THE SHIP, BUT HIS SELFISH ASS WOULD LEAVE YOU THERE TO ROT; STARVE! I HOPE HIS ASS GETS AIDS! SINCE PUSSY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A REAL FRIEND!

(Toon Zelda finally reaches him. 'TZ')

Toon Zelda- Don't talk so infuriatingly. (Taking his hand.)

Toon Link- This man ditched me for some pussy! HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK?!

(She starts crying and moaning in the background begins.)

Toon Zelda- What d-did I Do?

(TL calms down after he realizes she's sensitive.)

Toon Link- I'm sorry my queen. (Wiping tears from her eyes.) But this faaaaag, this "Fruity Pebble" faaag hurted me.

Toon Zelda- Th-that's not a word.

Toon Link- What's not?

Toon Zelda- Hurted. It's just hurt.

Toon Link- That's the master of trash. Hurted is on urban dictionary and it's been commonly used.

(Her sobbing stops and she can now talk normally. She was laughing with this foolish toon. A mean this man is just straight stupid cuz. At least he dispelled her snobbishness.)

Toon Zelda- You're funny.

Toon Link- Yeah I know. Let's go get some ice cream. (Next thing you know, you see Zelda's and Link's tight leggings flying in their direction with—wet spots in the center. It lands in front of them, almost touching their heads in their flight.) _You will pay for your transgression. You and your girl._

Toon Zelda- Eww!

(Staring at the wet spots with disgust. She wraps her arms with his and they left the fuck buddies to fuck. Enough of them I'm done looking at them and their dramatic shit.)

"Nice. You put 'TL' and 'TZ' to shorten their names and yet, you spelled them out fully most of the time." I said sarcastically. "You're amazing. I didn't even see TZ at all."

(Nigga, I'm getting sick of you! I'm your master and my breed is coming off onto you.)

"Faggot keep your DNA. I don't want it."

(And If I get rich, you will begin to beg for my skills.)

"NIGGA! View the last set of couples!"

(Who them?!)

"Sonic and Amy!"

(They are not nin—)

"But they exists in brawl! So view on them!"

(Fine damn it! Oh they are at Green Hill, just running away from each other as usual.)

Amy- Come here my cutie-pie!

Sonic- Noo! Why you always accost me with that hammer?

Amy- What you talking about? I don't have one for now.

(Ryo, Kage, Jacky, and Akira all jumps out of the pale green bushes and ambushes Sonic and Amy.)

Kage- Give us our money.

Ryo- We want our cash.

Jacky- Man don't talk to these ruthless animals!(He pulls out a magnum gun and holds it like a g at Sonic's head.)Just kill these thangs!

Akira- No man.(Before he can resume, Jacky's magnum was broken before his eyes.) Damn.

Jacky- WHAT THE FUCK! Your fast ass owe me more money!

(Looking angry as all get out.)

Sonic- Light did that and that's a promise.

(Smiling at him.)

Amy- GET AWAY FROM MY MAN!

(She takes out her piko piko hammer and begins to swing like a blind fighter. She bashes Ryo's head clean off. Everybody else moves out of dodge.)

Jacky- Man fuck this!

(He went after Sonic but ran into the swinging hammer and flew away like a smasher.)

Akira- It's not even my money.

(He went back into the bushes and left. Kage flips over Amy and glares at Sonic.)

Kage- Forget the money. I want you dead.

Sonic- What!

Kage- That's right. I don't like you.

(He take out his shurikens and begins to hastily throw them at Sonic. Sonic was dodging them like crazy. Some bounces off the raging hammer that was still raging on. One of them penetrates through Kage's head, slicing his brain to pieces. Nigga falls down like a sack of potatoes.)

Sonic- Woo.(Wiping sweat from his face.) A work-less fight.

(Amy stops swinging. She looks around and saw two dead bodies. She puts her hammer up.)

Amy- That's what you get for messing with my man!

Sonic- Come on Amy!

Amy- You know you want to fuck me.

(Sonic's eyes became big and wide.)

Sonic- Catch me first.

(He runs off at top celerity.)

Amy- Hey! Come back here!

(Running off and catching up with Sonic.)

(There you go! I viewed them all!)

"Good. No more of your insane writing." I said in relief.

(You know what, your raggedy ass is as mean as that tornado head girl.)

"That girl you raped in your dreams?"

(I don't know her name but yes. Nigga what you talking about?! She participated seductively bra.)

"Well—I guess so."

(Bra, I gotta go host this show; so see ya and wish me luck cuz.)

"Yeah, you'll need it" I said ludicrously.

*All right it's over. From this point on, it's me all the way.*

I was hoping this chapter would finish it, but we all need a break. The next chapter is surely the last one.

-It's pretty obvious to figure out the words in italics; the characters are thinking to themselves and of course, nobody can hear them.-


	3. This is it!

**Chapter 3**

He finds his way back to reality and starts shaking after observing those milky way illusions.

_"Damn! I got me a ghetto show," _He thought to himself. _"Wroo we! Like my hand ain't full __enough__. Mr. Chief&Queen, I know you will make a way. You gots to."_

"I'm _n__ot God!" _I yell telepathically.

_ "You're the writer ain't ya? You are a tempt God cuz."_

"Man you is perishing up this story!

_Correct yourself; it's temporary, not tempt. Tempt means you have an urge of doing something; like you are tempting to host this chaotic show. This will be the last time you'll fuck with me; next time you do this shit, you and your alter ego will perish and this story reaches a permanent halt. Do you confirm this agreement?"_

"JUST LIKE GOD MAN! JUST LIKE HIM!"

"Do you CONFIRM?!"

I forcefully inquire.  
_  
"Yes nigga yes," _he answers incredulously.  
_  
"Your nigga use is now limited. You said it good enough while gawking at milky way. __Same rules apply; say it and the story ends on the spot.__"_

"NIGGA YOU SERIOUS?!"

He questions furiously.  
_  
"You just wasted this offe__r,__" _I said in disappointment.  
_  
"This faggot right here."_

"I mean it,"

I assure him while my voice was fading away.

"_Whatever. You're the __ni__gg__a__t."_

Master Hand glides over to him.

"I calculated all the couples that are in existence. With a snap, they will all be here and we can commence the show," explains Master Hand.

"Where that tornado head woman?" Questions Crazy Hand with suspicion.

"There's no need for suspense." Master Hand assures his questioner. "She's out of our hands and that's all that matters. Right?"

"Well I guess bra," says Crazy Hand reluctantly.

"Well that's good," Says Master Hand while prepping his for snapping. This yellow aura between his thumb and finger is a reminiscent of lightning, all clogged up in a transparent box—it was sparking upon appearing. "Awaiting your orders."

"Oh that's gangsta right there!" Yells Crazy Hand excitedly. "Yea I'm boss bra. Bossin' on your bitch-ass!"

"Anytime now," states Master Hand impatiently.

"OK let's bust this shit!" assents Crazy Hand exultantly.

"Before they come, I got the ladies." assures Master Hand.

"WHAT NI—" Crazy Hand stops and reminds himself about my threats:_"You will die if you say 'nigga'. You dig nigga?"_–– "Niggat!?" He yells in disbelief.

"I made a separate room and all for them. We got to play it safe," continues Master Hand like Crazy Hand didn't say a word. "You are a sex freak and will instantly get horny when you see them. You deal with the guys. After an hour and a half go by, we will all unite here and you can then deal with them. Is that a problem?"

"You all trivil," barks crazy Hand. "All I want is people here." Then in a demanding tone: "BRING EM' HERE NOW!"

"It's trivial." Corrects Master Hand.

"I'm getting sick of y'all correckin' me!"

"Correct."

"NIGGAT! Bring em' here with your deaf ass!"

"command confirmed," confirms Master Hand. He snaps his fingers, and a big clap sound came above them. The yellow aura engulfs the whole area in a flash with intense sparking and in an instant, Master Hand was gone; as well as the yellow aura.

"This little faggot busted up my plan! Alway gots, to alter some shit!"

"Hey floating hand!" Shouts a unknown man. Crazy Hand linger and reluctantly turns around and sees Mario scowling at him; the belated letters occurs and this time, they are red: "Mario." Luigi, Link, Fox, Popo, Kirby, Sonic, and Toon Link are all looking around at their surroundings like a cat adapting to it's new home; more letters appears and spells out "Luigi, Link, Fox, Popo, Kirby, Sonic, Toon link" with green, forest green, orange, sky blue, hot pink, blue, and light green in their corresponding order.

"Gangsta place!" Yells Popo unexpectedly. Everybody turns their head towards him and blankly stares at him.

"Sorry. Just place is so turn up allllright?"

"Ain't it!" Agrees Crazy Hand.

"Bra this place is all bustin' man," says Popo while looking at a planet going by.

"I did this cuz."

"Yea I can see tat. Good work bra."

Crazy Hand begins to observe Popo after realizing they have something in common.

"Man let me tell you something," resumes Popo—still gawking at the planet that stops behind the smash ball. "It ben a good while since me and my boo saw the aloria bloris."

"Aurora borealis bra." interrupts Crazy Hand genially.

"Whatever North lights nig. Wi go there to scuttle her package. That purdy pussy cat needs sum icelors. You feel me bra?"

"I feel you, but I got no dick," says Crazy Hand in disappointment.

"Use the fingers man—" Popo turns towards Crazy Hand—"Verve that pussy if you have any."

"Man you all right." Crazy Hand was pleased from this fella.

Everybody was introducing themselves to each other. Things was all well until Toon Link was glaring at Link real hard.

"Oh HELL NO!" Yells Toon Link angrily. "Who the FUCK invited you?!"

"Why are you so mad?" Asks Link innocently.

"You're drag-ass ditch me for some pussy!" Toon Links anger begins to increase. Everybody shouts "UUUUH" and "MAN WRONG!" repeatedly.

"WAS IT GOOD?!" Shouts Kirby.

"Let the past be the past." Link assures him.

"FAGGOT! OVER MY DEAD BODY!" Denies Toon Link infuriatingly.

"You emotional like a girl," says Link ludicrously.

"DAAAAAAANNNNG!" Everybody shouts. "DAAAAMMMMN! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" And they keep on repeating it. The two furious fighters unsheathes their swords and begins throwing insults at each other.

"There ain't gonna be no fighting up in here!" States Crazy Hand authoritatively.

"Yea wat he said," agrees Popo. Nobody heard neither one of them.

"Now!" Yells Crazy Hand at the top of his lungs. Silence vanquishes everybody. "Stank ya. Now, y'all here for a reason, and that reason is to talk about love with your woman. Y'all niggats got a problem about that?" He pauses for answers, but no one blurts out. "Good. Y'all all gangstas. Now let's generate some chairs."

Eight Colorful circle chairs arose from the ground and catches everyone to it's seat. Everyone had their corresponding color as well as their symbol.

"Hope y'all comfortable cause' we are gonna be here for a damn good while," warns the host.

"My baby will miss me!" Sings Luigi acridly.

"You can deal with an hour my re-tart cuz," Crazy Hand assures him. "Now who wants to go first."

Master Hand teleports to Haunted Towers; as well as the ladies.(Place from "Spyro The Dragon." Google and other search engines are your friend if you don't know nor played the game. But if you're too lazy for all of that, then picture this. The sky was purple with blue fades here and there and it was loaded with with white dots and stars. The middle of it had white clouds with sky blue edges on the top; underneath the clouds had orange edges. Red flowed down to the bottom; fading to yellow-orange. Finally the bottom of it had a sun and was bright yellow throughout until you follow it up to that fade. There was no such things as grounds there; platforms runs this level. You even had floating castles and houses. Master Hand and the women are all on this very grassy platform. It had flowers, bushes, and little pieces of knight armor.)Peach, Daisy, Zelda, Krystal, Amy, Jigglypuff, Toon Zelda, and Nana are all awed and pleased at the look of this place; once more, the surprising letters spells out "Peach, Daisy, Zelda, Krystal, Amy, Jigglypuff, Toon Zelda, Nana" with pink, yellow, purple, white, hot pink, light pink, lavender, and fade pink in too their corresponding order.

"Peach, Talk about a place for hardcore action!" Yells Daisy excitedly.

"Do you wonder about something else other than sex?" Asks Peach while looking askance at Daisy.

"Why yes. Here's what I wonder about—"

"I don't want to hear it," interrupts Peach politely.

"Yes you do," assures Daisy.

"I said I—"

"Hol!" Inveighs Daisy. This outburst grabs Nana's attention."This is not pared up to a retarted argument."

"What's hol?"

"My way of saying hold up."

"That's ghetto."

"Yo mama." Peach was about to cuss, but holds her tongue very tightly.

"Here's my alternate wonder," Daisy resumes. "Spyro got it made. This dragon is the master of graphics. See if Nintendo corporate with Insomniac, they will see endless dollars; cash."

Peach stares blankly at Daisy the whole time; with her mouth open. She starts to choke after a fly entered in her mouth. Nana runs over to Daisy and Peach

"Yes they will," Agrees Nana. She hammers Peach on the back one good time. The fly flies out like a bullet. It splats on Krystal's tail.

"AAAH!" Barks Krystal. She grabs her tail and observes it like a scanner. She spots this black thing in saliva on the tip of her tail. She grabs it by the tip of her fingers and looks at it in disguise.

"Yuck!" She says while throwing it. It then lands between Zelda's breasts.

While this was happening, Nana, Peach and Daisy resumes their conversation.

"Finally!" Yells Daisy in relief. "A person with sense."

"Thank you," gasp Peach.

"No problem," says Nana. "Look at this place,—"She observes everything around her; then Krystal after her bark.—"This is designed for valentine love."

"Oh my." Says Daisy with her eyes wide.

"What?"

"You are a sex freak."

"And?"  
"Both of y'all are nasty whores," interpolates Peach after she fully regains her breath.

"Pinky did you hear this bitch?!" Expunges Daisy.

"Oh hell no," says Nana seriously. "I help your vacuous blonde ass and this is how you do. You spit on people!"

"That's right pinky git on her!" Cheers Daisy viciously.

"I'm Nana dumb ass tomboy," inveighs Nana with low volume.

"Wroooo hoe. Git off this pussy before you git busted," threatens Daisy. They scowl at each other with their hands ready for swinging.

"And this is way we are degraded," assures Peach with disappointment. Daisy and Nana scowls at Peach. "And come to think that Adam and Eve wasn't degrading enough."

"Bitch, we don't got time for that church-history shit!" Yells Daisy forcefully; she scowls back at Nana.

"Nobody believes what blonds say!" Assures Nana insultingly; she scowls back at Daisy.

Zelda's starts screaming and moving around frantically when her bosom came in contact with the fly. Everybody starts yelling and bickering. Toon Zelda and Master Hand gawks at this riot party with utter disappointment.

"This is absurd," says Master Hand to Toon Zelda incredulously. "You're the only one with common sense."

"Thank Toon Link for that," remarks Toon Zelda. "He taught me life outside the royal castle."

"Well blame the outcast of him," explains Master Hand slightly calm; still overwhelmed by the bickering society that expectantly forms into a brawl house. The yelling augments with high several pitch screaming including slaps and whacks from vicious hands and hammers. "See, society can teach you life lessons. They're telling you to not trust them nor join them."

"You just reiterate what he said," she says as politely as she can, but was a little angry.

"There's no problem with reminders," he assures her. Then in a raging yell: "SILENCE!" The party ends and everybody glares at Master Hand and Toon Zelda.

"My queen likes-a me when I sings-a dirty to her," says Luigi. "She really likes 'Play' dirty version. Turns her on every time I sing-a it to her."

"Should've kelp that shit to yourself," says Toon Link in disgust.

"Let the man express his ironic ideas," says Popo.

"Nobody wants to hear that!" Yells Fox.

"Finally somebody with proper morals," says Toon Link with relief.

"Unless I get first seat," assures Fox. Link starts laughing historically.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you," warns Sonic; looking at the little red head.

"Ready for round two queer?!" Threatens Toon Link.

"BITCH! I was born ready!" Hollers Link. Crazy Hand's distal phalanges begins to glow a red bright light.

"Once I hear a swing-a, don't wanna be ya," warns Crazy Hand targeting at them.

"Man fuck this fool!" Yells Toon Link wildly while taking a swing. Before you know it, the red lights on his distal phalanges flashes the entire area and the Links vanished without a trace.

"Who else wanna Go?" Queries Crazy Hand with those red lights still existing.

"Nah we straight bra we straight," answers Popo shaking his hand and head in a way that it too says no.

"Ghetto free," says Mario with partial relief.

"Git this hater out of here!" Rebels Popo.

"Maybe I should after he makes one more hate roast." Mario looks askance at both of them.

"Wannabe niggas." says Mario with confidence. Once more, red flashes the entire area with Popo shouting: "Oh hell No! Kill this drag-queen cracker!" Mario perishes with Popo.

"My brothers gone!" Sings Luigi excitedly.

"And so are y'all," says the pissed off hand.

"Hey we didn't do nothing!" Assures Fox.

"Y'all goin' home with y'all girls. Shows over." The red light instantly forms into a green flash which engulfs the whole area.

"Here I come yellow pussssssssyyyyyyyy!" Sings Luigi.

"It's about time," says Sonic.

"All right Krystal, time to finish where we started off," says the horny Fox everybody with the chairs then eradicates.

Master Hand warps back to the forgotten subspace room.

"What in bloody name did you do?!" inquires Master Hand angrily.

"Blame it on al-al-al-alcohol brother," sings Crazy Hand foolishly.

"So you drank to perish everybody?!"

"What happened to the hotties?" Asks Crazy Hand like he didn't hear a thing Master Hand said.

"THEY ALL VANISHED!" Riots Master Hand while in a boiling fist going at Crazy Hand at max speed.

"BRA I'M SORRY MAN CHILL!" Yells the running apprehended Crazy Hand. While Master Hand was trying to bash Crazy Hand, Rosalina and some Primids watches them behind the smash symbol.

"Now that's a show worth watching," says one of Primids Ludicrously.


End file.
